Tag Archives: self-partnering

Auto Valentine

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Dear Lorien,

I love you, forever and always.
I promise to take care of you
and never, ever leave you.
I promise to support you any way I can.
I promise to celebrate you and all your successes.
I am so proud of who you’ve become!
I love spending time with you!
You are such an amazing person;
I’m so inspired by you, your openness,
vulnerability, willingness to dig deep
and allow your authentic self to speak.
Let me know how I can love you better.
I am here totally and completely for you.

Love,

Lorien

Feeling

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You can’t heal what you can’t feel…
and so my biggest task
has been just allowing the feelings to rise,
to be seen, acknowledged, embraced,
and finally felt.
For a long time I attempted to deny my feelings,
because they appeared too painful to accept,
and I was afraid of what might happen
if I allowed the tidal wave to crash over me.
It turns out that I was giving my attention
to my fear of the difficult feelings
rather than to the feelings themselves.
The fear made it all seem so much worse
that it really was.
Once I peeled back all my layers
of distraction, denial and defense
and exposed my tender heart to myself,
I saw that there was nothing to fear.
As the grief came up, the doubt,
the self-blame, the regret, the anger,
the loneliness, the abandonment,
the resistance and all the others
emerged as a procession,
one by one, to be fully received
and welcomed by me.
As I allowed these feelings to flow through,
I sensed underneath them my resilience,
my strength, and finally my hope
for new feelings to arrive
once I’ve made enough room for them
by letting the old feelings go…

Entitled

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I’m feeling entertained.
What was meant as an insult
has provided endless laughter.
This means progress.
I was told that the body part upon which I sit
is entitled.
I was told to get off this particularly entitled body part
and get a job.
I have two things to say:
1. I have a job. Actually two jobs. Actually three.
I have been mothering for 9 years
and teaching yoga for 14
and it is a full time job being me,
it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it
and I’m the most qualified for it—
AND I AM DAMN GOOD AT WHAT I DO,
AND I WILL KEEP DOING IT, THANK YOU.
2. Yes, I am entitled,
and not just the body part on which I sit.
All of me is entitled.
All of me is entitled to:
love
respect
joy
beauty
care
kindness
compassion
understanding
abundance
and gratitude
(among other things, but the list is getting too long, so I’ll stop there. For now).
I am entitled to these things,
because this is what I give out.
Oh wait, there is a third thing I have to say:
3. YOU CAN’T HURT ME ANYMORE.
If you have any questions, comments or concerns,
just talk to the aforementioned entitled body part on which I sit.
I’m sure it will make itself very clear,
in one way or another.

Back to Wholeness

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How safe is it to share, to be vulnerable?
How safe is it to be honest
about what I’m really feeling?
I know that what I’m feeling is nothing new.
I know that there are countless humans
feeling the exact same thing I’m feeling
in this very moment.
If I had a friend feeling what I’m feeling,
I’d tell them
You are not alone.
I’m here with you.
What do you need?

In the absence of a friend to offer it to me,
can I offer myself this same kindness?
I know I can’t rely on someone else
to bring me the happiness I seek.
I know that the happiness is within me,
concealed by stories of unhappiness.
Now my job is to identify those obstacles to my happiness,
be willing to let them go,
and allow the happiness to emerge naturally.
God give me the strength
to love myself back to wholeness.

Conversations With My Mind #1: Breathe and Rest

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Oh my mind,
why so sour today?
You’d be sour, too,
if you were expected
to figure this mess out.

You don’t have to figure this out.
Who told you that you did?
Well, you aren’t figuring it out yourself,
and someone has to do it.

Oh, sweetheart, just breathe and rest.
There isn’t anything to be figured out.
Just breathe and rest.