A gathering of beautiful friends brings me back to a natural rhythm, closer to my true nature, more authentic. Food prepared consciously nourishes our bodies and souls. Sitting with beloveds and sharing a meal attunes us collectively to our shared visions. Moving into a mode of celebration opens our eyes to the abundance that is here now, opens our hearts to the recognition that it is a gift to be alive. I choose to move towards those who are willing to recognize the good in their lives. Those who give thanks are way more fun to be around than those who can’t see any reason to be grateful! I’m glad to be one of the happy ones who chooses to see the good in life. I am blessed to openly celebrate how wonderful it is to be alive.
I’m a writer, have been since elementary school. I’m grateful I can wield my pen and my words and my voice intentionally, and share what’s going on with me in a way that engages others to share their stories with me. I’m grateful I was taught to read and write. I’m grateful I can create worlds in my mind and assign words to the worlds in a way that will paint vivid pictures in your mind. Words are power, like wind is power, and fire is power, and water is power, and love is power. May the fact of my sharing help one person know that they aren’t alone. May these words written from my heart reach out into the world and make it a more loving place!
A friend came and visited. We sipped our mugs of tea and filled each other in on the comings and goings of our lives. He’s three months into a fulfilling relationship with a vibrantly beautiful and talented woman. I’m happy for him. I shared about my sadness, loneliness and isolation. I told him how I wanted to be financially autonmous before dipping my toes back into the waters of love and relationships. It’s been two years since I’ve been with a man, and my body feels the urge to be held, to connect… but I don’t trust myself to attract a healthy man into my life, and I’m still reeling from the pain of my divorce. So I’m waiting. He told me I have too many rules, that if I stop myself from desiring I stop myself from moving forward. Now my head is spinning. Is it true? Do I have too many rules?
So many choices in each moment.
What to create?
Is it time to rest?
To sew? I choose to sing.
I record my voice and listen.
I like the way it sounds,
so I keep going.
I’m learning something
about creativity and pleasure, trusting myself in the process.
And then I discovered It’s all in my mind
And the world he sees— it’s all in his mind too.
And we have as many worlds
as we have brains
to think about them.
And where do these worlds converge?
On some courageous shore
encircling a vast ocean of intimacy
enquire of one another. And they listen to the answers.
And what if
I started to believe in myself
and in what I have to give
to the world?
What if I became adamant about
sharing what I have
because I know it will help
countless people to laugh
and to be free?
What if I went ahead and shared?
from my phone
Because my husband
with a person from Verizon
I guess I shouldn’t complain
About his hogging the computer.
I’ve done that myself every night
For the last 382 days
I guess it’s his turn.