Today I turn 43; This body has made 43 trips around the sun, and it seems significant that I find myself alone to send up rockets of appreciation from my square foot of earth to celebrate the occasion of my birth. I like myself. I like the company I keep in the quiet moments when there is no one else to break the silence, when I have the space to listen to the deep music of what continues without human effort, what remains, what hums when we finally slow down and accept that enough is enough.
As an introvert, my alone time is essential to my health and well-being. As a spiritual seeker, it is crucial to my practice. And as a human being it is a necessary element to embrace in my daily life as I discover who I am in this world. Alone, I can hear the birdsong and the windsong and the watersong. I can peer into the very nature of existence itself with no one there to distract me from my journey. Alone I can hear the voice of my spirit whispering where to go, what to do, what to say and to whom. Alone I can see myself, hear myself, hold myself, know myself. I am grateful, so grateful for my solitude.
If I can just get quiet and still and go within and listen I can hear the heartbeat of the Universe. I can feel the deep peace that is my true nature. I can sense the oneness of being that is the truth of existence. Yeah, I should probably just get quiet and still and go within and listen more often.
In this world where everything has died
I notice the silence above all.
Sometimes a car passes by
reminding me that life goes on for others, out there.
But in here, in this house,
everything has died.
I buy myself some flowers
and for a few days
their sweet scent reminds me of living…
but as all living things must,
the flowers wilt and decay
and now I am responsible for
disposing of their remains.
If only the remains of my marriage
could be thrown out like the spent flowers.
Its faded scent lingers,
and so do all the fallen petals
of the hope I kept alive for so long.
My children are with him tonight.
He took our two cats as well;
it’s eerily silent here.
Silent like death.
Now here I am,
listening to this absence of sound
inside a home once raucous
with the symphony of existence.
A car passes by now,
reminding me of the life that goes on out there.
You’d think after all this time
I’d have the sanity
after he’s had too much wine.
But my ego was bruised
and I guess my mind confused
which course of action
would lead to resolution
and which to more confusion.
When my fear speaks louder
than the quiet wisdom within
it’s time to shut my mouth
and retreat far away
from the din of those
who know not
that silence is an option.
What would happen
if you could really trust
the unfolding of your life?
What if you could trust
the wisdom that is
already there within you?
this isn’t about
sitting back and doing nothing
and calling this trust…
But it is about tuning in
to the guidance deep within you
and letting that inner knowing
show you the way.
This deep knowing
has an understanding
that extends far beyond
the linear mindset
of our day to day minds.
This knowing can guide you
in your thoughts, words and actions
to meet the perfect unfolding
of this moment
as you show up
with your highest potential.
Spend a little time
in silence each day;
get to know the source
of your deep knowing.
Then watch what happens
as you listen to that wise voice;
watch what happens
as you trust
in the perfect unfolding
of this one precious life
that is yours.
I sit down to write
and I think I don’t have anything to say.
And this strikes me
as a good thing.
When noise assails us
every moment of our lives—
silence becomes a rare
and precious gift.
Offering such silence
So, as I look inwards,
if I notice only silence,
I’ll accept this gift,
and sit in this quiet place,
grateful to receive
this moment of
spacious, silent being.
Not knowing what to say,
I watch how unfamiliar the silence has become,
the discomfort that arises
when staring into the void of space.
Whenever I have a minute
I’m playing solitaire on my phone,
as if every bit of time must be taken up
Enough is enough.
When I see that the silence has grown uncomfortable,
it means I’ve fallen out of relationship with myself.
I put down my phone and just sit.
I take a deep breath.
The love in me was always there,
it just became obscured by cluttered thinking.
May I befriend the silence
and come home to the inner spaciousness.
By embracing my wordlessness,
I tune into a deeper me,
the self beyond words, beyond description.
We went to an amusement park today.
What feels like play to many
seems to suck the soul out of me at times.
I tried to breathe as we waited in lines,
applying the tonglen meditation technique…
breathing in the impatience
for myself and all beings,
breathing out relaxed presence.
Sometimes I was successful,
I’m pretty sure at others I wore a faint scowl
unconsciously…as I dreamed of silence.
It’s a head game being around so many;
The noise and the commotion
remind me of how much I love quiet,
how important solitude is to my wellbeing.
Looking back on the day I see
another opportunity for balance,
dancing that fine line between being with self
and being with others,
giving enough time to each
to keep sanity and connection both within reach.
I keep getting to this place
as I sit down to write
where I think But I have nothing to say, nothing interesting anyway. What I have to say will be boring. Why should I bother writing about my normal life?
And then I remember
Life is at once ordinary and extraordinary.
Sometimes the most ordinary of things
provide extraordinary pleasure,
and sometimes it’s our pursuit
of the extraordinary
that deprives us of appreciating
the beautiful ordinariness of our lives.
What determines how we see
are the expectations we bring to this moment.
Therefore, let me cultivate extraordinary perception
and see with new eyes.
Let me see the profound virtue in silence,
I won’t ever again worry
about having nothing to say,
because I’ll know in my heart
that the most important things
need not be said.