Tag Archives: single mom

Regardless of the Neatness

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I want to get creative.
I want to paint
draw
write
dance
sing
knit
sew
cook
do yoga.
I look around my house.
It’s cluttered, disorganized.
I can’t create with my house like this,
I tell myself.
So I pick up.
Dust.
Vacuum.
Put away.
Organize.
I look around my house again.
It’s beautiful. Neat. Luminous.
But now I’m so damn tired
I no longer have the energy to create!
Maybe I need to learn how to create
regardless of the neatness of my space.

🤔

Someday I’ll…

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You know when you go to sleep angry
and wake up angry
and try as you might to change it
you go through the day angry?
And then you feel depressed
because you’ve been angry
and the anger is exhausting
and you’re looking around at your messy life,
wondering when you’ll have the energy to get organized,
but then you remember that you’re a single parent,
and there’s already too much to do,
and so you look at the mess and think,
Someday I’ll…?
Yeah, that.

Too Much

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What will take away the rage,
the fatigue, the sheer exhaustion?
What will make all of this seem ok,
so that I can get up and do this again
(and again and again and again and again)?
How many days like this
until it won’t be like this anymore?
Tonight, I feel solidarity
will all single parents everywhere
who just want some help,
because it all feels like too much.

Still Alive

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Hi friends…
While I was away teaching yoga on retreat
(and I didn’t have access to Wifi)
I fell behind on my posts, as you can see.
And then I came back home and my son was sick
and I’ve been sleep deprived, overworked,
overwhelmed and undernourished.
Nonetheless,
I kept plodding away at my posts
for my 48 days of gratitude
and I continued posting them
to Facebook and Instagram.
I hope to catch up here soon.
Just wanted to say…I’m still alive!

Gratitude, Day 32 of 48: Choice

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Every day we are presented myriad choices,
from the first moment of the day until the last.
Awareness of our choices empowers us.
Deeply attuned to our core values
we make choices that align us with our vision.
The past brought me here,
but where I go depends entirely
on who I choose to be.
I chose to make this short and sweet.
I’m tired because I chose to work this weekend.
I choose to work hard
because I’m happy to provide
a good life for myself and my kids.
I choose to breathe now, and practice gratitude
for what I’ve been given,
and for making the choice to receive it.

Gratitude: Day 2 of 48

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Miracle House

This house. This magical house.
In January of this year
my house was sold at foreclosure auction;
my name wasn’t on the title or the deed,
and there was nothing I could do to stop the sale.
I was terrified.
Not long after the sale
I was told I had to move,
and I didn’t know where to go.
I just knew I wanted to keep my kids
in their school.
I tripled the number of yoga classes
I was teaching,
sent feelers out,
and prayed more than I ever have.
In July, a miracle.
Friends of friends had a rental home
in my kids’ school district
and their renters wanted to break the lease early!
We met, I brought my financial documents,
and proved I was able to pay rent.
And just like that,
my kids and I had a place to move into!
I left behind the betrayal and grief of my past
and turned toward new possibilities,
a new phase of my life.
I am grateful for the miracles
of community, strength and faith.
Every night when I tuck my kids into bed,
I thank God for this house.
This magical house.