She walked alone in the woods today,
the wind following her with its whispers.
She climbed up the steep slope,
finding spots of bare earth to plant her feet
in a slippery sea of fallen leaves.
She found her favorite stone outcropping,
sat and closed her eyes.
Breathing slowly and deeply
she received a vision of
great warmth and delight,
a future that waits for her
willingness to let the past go.
The cold began to seep in
and she carefully picked her way
here and there along the downward slope,
superimposing the future vision
upon the present matrix,
thinking thoughts of integration.
I was talking with a friend about wealth…
She said that I am far wealthier
than some ultra wealthy people
who have amassed incredible material wealth.
She said that I am far wealthier than they
in terms of my ability to feel happy and fulfilled
and to experience peace in the present moment…
And I got to thinking about my two children,
how bright, and healthy and beautiful they are,
and my yoga and meditation practice,
my work teaching yoga,
the talents God has given me
to write, to draw, to sing, to move
with my heart.
I thought about my bank account,
and although it’s presently modest,
I can feel grateful and proud about
how hard I’ve been working
to achieve financial stability,
several months of sobriety under my belt,
maintaining consistency in my spiritual practice,
gratitude journaling every night,
pausing and appreciating nature in its many forms,
the changes of the seasons,
the fact I can see and hear and smell and taste and touch
this present moment, alive in my body,
alive all around me…
And the connection, the human connection
that my work gives me,
spending time with beloveds who actually
choose me as their teacher,
who come back not because they have to,
but because they want to—
And I realize that yes, yes indeed—
I am ultra wealthy.
Up half the night with a sick child,
scrubbing puke out of the carpets,
attempting not to resent my ex
for leaving me
to deal with moments like these
on my own.
How can I tweak my mindset
when the moment
is so obviously difficult?
Any way you look at it,
a pukey carpet is smelly and gross.
How do you find spiritual wisdom
in disgusting moments?
I tried to tell myself
It is a privilege to clean up my daughter’s throw-up.
Yes I did.
I thought about childless couples
who would’ve paid dearly
many times over
to have a son or daughter of their own,
who would’ve been glad to be in my shoes,
scrubbing mess out of the carpet,
just to know they had a kid to love and raise.
It strikes me now in retrospect,
that it wasn’t so much the content of my mind,
but the act of attempting to shift
from feeling exhausted and overburdened
to the recognition of my blessings—
however disgustingly they were disguised—
that might bear beautiful fruit in the future.
Who knows what can grow
of experiences like these,
when they are met with the awareness
that there is always another way?
For so long
I have seen my sadness as the enemy,
a sign that something
wasn’t working in my life.
And now, with this new perspective,
I’m being told that my sadness is a friend,
a sign that Life
is working through me
to transform me,
to peel away the excess
and reveal the essence of who I am.
I guess all of my prayers
and my hours of meditation
were really me trying to be good enough
to gain some leverage
and negotiate with God.
What if there were no escape?
What if this was all meant to be,
and what if all the answers
to all my questions
were locked up inside me,
waiting for me to accept
the initiation that will open
my consciousness to their
This spiritual journey
is a path of tremendous
It remains invisible
to everyone on the outside
except for those
who have the most discerning eye.
If you meet such a Friend,
hold fast to them.
The friend who can see your inner light
is the friend who will support
its outer expression in this world
that is so much in need of your brilliance.
And don’t try to tell me
But I’m not brilliant.
You are made of stardust,
therefore, YOU ARE BRILLIANT.
Your only question should be, then,
How can I express my brilliance
in a way that will bring the most
joy and healing to this world?
Spend your life answering that question,
and it will be a life very well spent indeed.
That’s all this really is.
Because our realities
are formed by our thoughts,
if we don’t like what we see
we need to rearrange how we think.
I’m not saying that we tolerate
the intolerable, oh no.
We aren’t being apathetic
to injustice or tyranny, nope.
A proper mindset
keeps us aware
of our power
and shows us how to wield it
in the wisest of ways.
I choose now
to be a stand for what is good
in the universe.
I see that good.
And I do everything in my power
to help others to see it
and express it
for the benefit of all beings.
I’ll keep making the aspiration
that my thoughts, words and actions
be of benefit to all beings
and then I’ll watch where this path takes me.
With trust I’ll move forward,
eyes and heart wide open,
ready to live in the mystery.
I’m here, Life,
and I’m ready!