Tag Archives: strength

The Life I Was Meant to Live

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It arrives slowly,
so slowly I question
if what I’m feeling is real.
But then it begins to build
until the feeling is so present,
so there,
that I can no longer deny it.
It’s a mixture of hope, of lightness,
of real pleasure, joy, relief
that things are changing,
finally changing.
After this harrowing, hellish time,
I emerge from the cave
of the deepest, darkest sadness I have known.
I stand naked, blinking in the bright light,
an infant newly born
into the life I was meant to live…

What Is, Is

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Maybe I can let go
of my ideas about
how things should be
so I can love them as they are.
This is nothing new;
I have been trying this for years,
but today
I believe it might be possible.
I could let go
of my ideas
of right and wrong
for just a second.
I could relax
for just one second,
and stop trying to be
right about everything.
What would happen then?
Who would I be then?
What would this Universe
be like
inside the belief
That what is, is
is what I want…?
Miracles
would become
every day experiences.
I am ready for that proof.

 

Daring to Dream

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I give myself permission to dream,
and then I dare to do it.
I make a vision board.
I write.
I hope.
I wish…
and then I act.
Even tiny steps
are steps toward the life
I dream about.
Just one conscious breath
gives me the strength
to reach for my best self
in times of challenge.
I craft the quality of my life
with moments
spent in awareness.
May I awaken
the best in myself
and have the courage
to share my best
with the world.

You Can’t Scare Me

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Go ahead,
sell the house.
Go ahead,
change the Wifi password.
Go ahead,
tell me that you think
I’m mentally ill.
It’s fine.
You can’t scare me.
And maybe that’s why
you’re pushing so hard—
you know deep inside
that this is about your fear,
not mine.
When you wake up
from this nightmare
and you’re ready to relate to me
as an adult,
I’ll be ready.
Until then,
get your mommy,
get your blankie,
get your warm milk,
and go fuck yourself.

 

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Wrote this directly after having another unsatisfactory conversation with the man I married eight years ago, who informed me he wanted a divorce in July, who still lives in the house with us, and who is threatening to sell the house, saying, “There’s nothing you can do about it.”  I’m not in the best mood right now, but I’m not scared.

Thinking About Faith

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Faith is a muscle, I was told recently,
You have to use it to strengthen it.
Ok, so how? I began thinking…
It’s easy to have faith
when you’re hitting every green light,
when you manage to slip into
the shortest line at the grocery store,
and everything seems to be going your way.
But how about when you’re stuck in traffic,
you have no choice but to wait in a long line,
and it seems like nothing is going your way?
Can you have faith then?
Can you believe that all of this
was meant to be…for YOUR benefit?
Because it isn’t faith when it’s easy,
it’s faith when it’s difficult,
when you can’t see the path ahead
but you leap anyway,
when you can’t see the reasons
for everything being as it is
but you trust anyway.
We have a lot of work to do
in order to cultivate such faith,
but imagine the rewards of such work:
being able to relax in this moment,
certain that you have what you need
to grow into the highest version of yourself.
Let me have faith
that my faith is just as it should be.
Let me trust, let me breathe,
let me relax into this moment,
deeply grateful for what is to come.

How’s Your Faith?

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The nature of faith
requires that you leap
without knowing
where you will land.
It means risking
going splat on the concrete
all the while hoping
that the softest wings
will take hold of you
and bear you aloft.
It happens
when you have no reason to believe
but you dare to believe anyway.
And it’s a muscle, like any other—
the more you use it,
the stronger it gets.
So, how’s your faith?

The Voice of Courage

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As I faced the choice
of turning around
and going back the way I came
or forging ahead into the unknown,
I became aware first of
the fear of the unknown,
and a voice saying “Turn back!”
Then I went deeper into myself
to a place beyond the fear
and discovered that the pull
of a new experience, a new possibility
was more compelling than my attachment
to what is familiar.
Each time I choose possibility over fear,
I get a little stronger,
a little more amazed
by what can happen
when I listen to the voice of courage.