This house. This magical house. In January of this year my house was sold at foreclosure auction; my name wasn’t on the title or the deed, and there was nothing I could do to stop the sale. I was terrified. Not long after the sale I was told I had to move, and I didn’t know where to go. I just knew I wanted to keep my kids in their school. I tripled the number of yoga classes I was teaching, sent feelers out, and prayed more than I ever have. In July, a miracle. Friends of friends had a rental home in my kids’ school district and their renters wanted to break the lease early! We met, I brought my financial documents, and proved I was able to pay rent. And just like that, my kids and I had a place to move into! I left behind the betrayal and grief of my past and turned toward new possibilities, a new phase of my life. I am grateful for the miracles of community, strength and faith. Every night when I tuck my kids into bed, I thank God for this house. This magical house.
It’s a blessing to have work I love, a blessing to have enough of this work to earn the income I need to empower myself to move forward. It’s a blessing to know that the work I do benefits others, and leaves me feeling a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. I GET PAID TO DO WHAT I LOVE… this is a miracle. As I dive deeper into my work, and bring greater value to my clients and the companies for whom I work, and as I am told about the positive impact I’m having on the lives of those I touch, I am driven to keep going. This month has been a marathon, 2-3 classes every day, no days off. My body is tired and yes, there is a part of me that would love a vacation… And yet, to be blessed with work I love, to have the Universe present me with this opportunity for gainful employment, to create independence as a single mother providing quality life for my children and myself, this is true success, true wealth, true progress. And truly, I am grateful.
It’s a simple way, a simple truth, a simple life— to simply open your heart to all that is. The trouble is, you don’t need a product or an expert to show you how to use it, and so this way isn’t advertised, and so most of us don’t know about it. But I promise you, I will spend my whole life living this open-hearted way as much as I can. And maybe my open heart could help other hearts to open along this path I walk. To know that I coaxed just one heart open by living my simple life… now that’s success!
The whole point is to reclaim my life to become happy… Happiness and success are the best revenge. Buckle up, brother, I reckon you’ll feel foolish some day when you’re doing the same old things and the same old people in the same old way And I’m lightyears beyond your comprehension, having taken quantum leaps of faith and consciousness, turned my life and my will over to something greater, given thanks for the talents bestowed upon me learned how to share my gifts in a way that glorifies the One who brought me here and brings joy and inspiration to seekers everywhere and I’m living free, graceful, untarnished by all the stories you told when you didn’t know how to honor the goddess within me… you had to discard me.
There is a deeper hunger I’m noticing. In the absence of what I thought I wanted (marriage, stable home, busy social life, material wealth) I’ve run through scenarios in my mind… So what if I met someone else? So what if I made enough money to live in a mansion? So what if I were stunningly successful at business? So what if I were to become famous? I’ve pictured each of these coming true, and I realized that none of these would satisfy me. This is nothing new. Anyone can go back into the ancient texts and find exactly the same insight shared by men and women of long ago. So this led me to the question What WOULD satisfy me? And a feeling emerges… something about connection, meaning and purpose. Something about knowing that the world is a better place for my having passed through it, something about leaving this wonderful legacy of humor, generosity and love for my children’s children’s children. I recognize that out of all the appetites I have, this deeper hunger is the one I should pay attention to the most.
If I could snap to perfection, would I? If I could skip the journey and just land in paradise, would I? Would I refuse to climb the mountain, if I knew I could be plunked right at the top? Could I enjoy any success sincerely if I didn’t work for it?
Both of my kids are in bed. We had a great night; coaxed them through homework, they ate a good dinner, bathed. Then we read two chapters of Prince Caspian and now they’re in bed. Why yes, I’m feeling like a successful single mother right about now.
I woke up this morning with a lightness, was able to get so much accomplished… something had shifted, and my mind wasn’t stuck in the same old thoughts. I felt more like myself today than I had felt in ages. I took time to take care of my self, celebrated the quietude, seized the chance to tune in and clear my space. Now, freshly showered, clean sheets on my bed, and a warm mug of tea steaming beside me, I look back in gratitude. It was an incredibly ordinary day by mostly anyone’s standards, but I’m feeling peaceful now. God bless my ordinary life.
It’s finally dawning on me
that success isn’t some
flip of the switch,
wave of the wand moment.
Some fairy godmother won’t descend
out of the sky singing bippityboppityboo
and make my entire life perfect.
Success is going through the day
feeling super anxious
and remembering a few times
to take a breath.
Success is showing up for the interview.
It’s cooking dinner for the children
when I just want to take a nap.
It’s remembering, finally,
that I am not a victim,
and that I can choose how my story goes.
It’s feeling gratitude regardless,
letting my heart open to the love that is there,
even if it hasn’t appeared
the way I was hoping it would.
It’s showing up on my cushion
morning after morning
to sit and breathe and just be with what is.
Success is a lot more incremental
than I once thought it was.
It’s breath by breath
moment by moment
inch by inch
letting go of my past as I
look to the future.
Ah, now. This is good.
I can relax and enjoy my success!
One step at a time,
one breath at a time,
one minute at a time,
one day at a time,
with clear intention
and strong will,
with steadfast determination
and unwavering trust,
with purposeful motivation
and absolute faith, you will succeed.