Today I was a student*,
and I felt so grateful
that for once
I didn’t have to prepare the lesson.
I love it when my only job
is to be open to new learning.
I think I’ll be a student
*Today was Day 1 of Nikki Myers weekend-long Y12SR training. I am so grateful to spend the next two days with other yoga teachers who are interested in learning about sustainable recovery from addiction, and who want to apply this learning to bring value to countless beings walking the path of recovery.
When I was born
my teacher taught me how to breathe.
I have spent my whole life
trying to remember that lesson.
Feeling grateful for where I am
while being clear on where I want to go;
training my mind to accept the possibilities
as they dance around the field of my awareness.
We all have greatness within us
and I’m searching for a way to bring mine forth
so that I can serve in a bigger way.
I always thought I wanted some shaman,
some medicine woman/man, a guru,
a saint, an angel, someone
who could tell me which way to go,
who could know me better than I know myself.
Then I realized
I need to choose my own direction.
I need to craft my path step by step.
There is no one way to do this,
and no one teacher who could steer me right.
Everyone in this world is my teacher,
and as I settle into a calm knowing
that it’s all unfolding perfectly,
I discover that I am the friend
I’ve been looking for.
To set down the burden
of needing to know
of needing to prove what I know
of needing the approval of others
and to stand
with childlike wonder
about this amazing life–
this is freedom.
With spaciousness like this
within my heart, within my mind
life never ceases
to surprise and delight me,
and I am so grateful.
May I set down the burden
of an expert’s mask,
and stand innocently
waiting to be taught
by whomever and whatever
will teach me.
I am excited to be learning
for the rest of my life.
Thank you life.
I’m here preparing my workshop
It’s late, nearly 12:30 am.
I can hear the inner critic say,
There you go again,
leaving everything to the last minute.
When will you learn?
When will you grow up?
It shakes its head and clucks about…
meanwhile I take a deep breath
and give myself compassion…
Compassion for the girl
who works so hard to please others,
Compassion for the teacher
who wants so much to help others,
Compassion for the artist
who wants to express her creativity,
Compassion for the tired mama
who does so much for so many
Now the compassionate one says,
Go to bed darling,
you need rest.
And I’m glad I have this practice,
glad that I can hear that voice,
the voice of compassion.
Life is our good teacher,
We ask for unreasonable things
that the only constant is change.
But life is always there,
doing what life does,
and isn’t it wonderful?
ever new and fresh
constantly surprising us
with this opportunity to awaken,
not some time in the future,
When you embrace life
in all of its crazy unpredictability,
you immerse yourself in the
great flow of being.
swimming against the current.
and let life tell you what you need to know.
As I sit preparing another class,
looking in book after book,
and on site after site
to find the perfect words to express
that which is beyond words,
to frame that which
cannot be contained,
I muse about how I’ll always be a student.
This is good.
This keeps me humble.
This allows me to meet my students
where they are
and feel compassion for their process.
And then I feel a need to drop the labels.
I am not a womanmotherteacherstudentfrienddaughteremployeewriter
I am a being who shares some of what I know,
who is grateful for what others share,
who is glad to relax into being,
into the place beyond words.