Before he dropped the bomb
I had a regular, consistent gratitude practce.
I recorded five things every night
for which I was grateful.
I had been doing this for years,
and had already filled multiple books
with my nightly gratitudes.
After he dropped the bomb,
I expanded my practice.
When my mind was telling me my life was over
and that I’d never be happy again,
I recorded twenty things every night
for which I was grateful.
I began to count the smallest things
the way the sun rose,
the way my child’s voice sounds,
the taste of soup,
the temperature of the wind.
I realized that those “little” things
are enormous in their beauty
and their presence.
I realized I could be more grateful.
I started to realize that happiness
is a choice I make every day.
I’m into my healing process.
I can thank him for dropping the bomb
and blowing my old life to bits
so that I could create a new life.
I’m still working on forgiveness,
but that is another poem.
It was a good day today.
I found my pen,
I had time to write in
all the colors of the rainbow
and to behold the result.
Just looking at all those colors
made me feel happy and light.
I had time to be in quiet
in the sacred space of my heart.
I had time to go to the chiropractor,
time to go to the grocery store,
time to procure watercolor paper
and metallic calligraphy pens
from the art store.
I took the time to recognize
how incredibly blessed I am
just to be here.
In just a little while
I’ll leave to go to a dance class.
I’ll move my body
and feel the bliss of connection
with other dancers,
the energy we create
as we move and breathe together.
Ah, thank you.
Thank you Life.
If I am strong, brave, resourceful,
If I know how to laugh with my whole heart,
if I know how to smile at a stranger
and speak to them until they are a friend,
If I know how to work hard in my home
and move with integrity in my world,
If I can speak my truth clearly and fearlessly,
If I can comfort those in need
and discover the solution
where others perceive problems,
If I can see the deeper meaning of all things
and love the essence of this universe,
it is because of you, Mom,
and everything that you taught me.
Thank you, a million times,
Thank you for being so beautiful,
for always bringing me
exactly what I’ve needed.
Thank you for not giving me
everything I’ve always wanted.
With each passing year
I can see that some of the things
I wanted before
would have denied me
that have brought me here,
and I love this moment.
Thank you, Life,
for all of the good things
that make up this reality,
the Teachers dressed up
as challenges and hardship,
(and the hardships were minimal
when I think of what others
have been through).
Thank you for the changes
of the weather, the seasons,
the world, the universe–
living in this mystery
and being the sole beneficiary
of so much beauty and abundance,
I’m left speechless,
except for two words–
Sigh. Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt seemed once again that it would be too involved for my tired brain. I like the idea of a mix and match poem, finding some high fallutin’ words and putting them alongside common ones, but honestly I didn’t have the drive to seek out the big beautiful words and attempt to weave them into a poem. So I’m going rogue for a second day in a row and doing something that has nothing to do with the prompt.
Thank you life.
Thank you for the sun that shone today,
the spring breeze,
and the young leaves appearing
at the slender tips of the branches.
Thank you for the contrast of spring green
against the azure blue of the sky,
and the warmth of the air
calling the flowers into bloom.
Thank you for the picnic we shared
in the shade of a few pines
while many children and dogs and parents
played and shouted all around us.
Thank you for my children, my husband and my home.
Thank you for this comfy bed when day is done.
And thank you for the breath in my body
and for the chance to awaken
into a fresh new day of possibilities.