Tag Archives: this moment

Only This Moment

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I have no idea
where I’ll be living
at this time next year.
But then again, really,
do any of us
have any idea?
We may think we know,
but that’s just a thought.
In the end,
we only have this moment.
Everything could change
in the blink of an eye.
So I’ll stop comparing myself
to those who you
who enjoy relative stability,
and remember
that all of us,
no matter how wealthy or how poor,
no matter how healthy or how sick,
no matter how young or how old,
all of us
only have this moment.

Can You Feel Me?

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A white magnolia called to me
from across the balcony
she said
break me
I did
I breathed in her essence
which attracted the attention
of my students
those closest to me
after the first two
I said
pass it around
and I watched her
in her white purity
passed around the room
giving of her essence
so unquestioningly
she breathed
and we all breathed with her
there is no lack
only this moment
can you feel me?

Just As It Is

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Trying to make sense of the chaos
I realize I haven’t breathed deeply
in a while so I
stop
and I take a deep breath in…I
pause
and let it out slowly.
Suddenly, there is no chaos.
Suddenly, it’s only this moment,
all it ever was,
all it ever will be.
Nothing to be added to it
nothing to be taken from it–
whole and complete just as it is.

How Would You Live?

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How would you live
if you remembered
that in just an instant
this life you have come to know
could be swept away forever?
How would your choices
be different
if you knew this day
would be your last?
Taking nothing for granted,
not getting caught up
in things being a certain way,
not trapped by a fear of death,
but living fully in this moment,
what would that be like?
And how could you carry
this awareness
of the profound beauty
and the utter fragility of life
in such a way
that your appreciation of life
would exert more power
than the belief
that this moment
should be other than what it is?
Letting go into this moment,
knowing the freedom to
see with your heart’s eyes,
to choose that which brings
you the most joy–
could this be your greatest offering
to the world?

Awaken Now

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You can wake up now.
Not yesterday
or five years from now,
but now, right now.
But don’t expect awakening
to be filled with light
and the triumphant choruses
of heavenly hosts
and this big
AHA NOW I GET IT
moment,
a flash of insight
a feeling of universal bliss
that transcends all
states previous known to you–
no…don’t look for any of that,
or you might be sorely disappointed.
Instead, stop trying to fix this moment.
Stop trying to fix yourself
or other people.
Just open your eyes
and look around you.
Embrace this moment,
just as it is.
Everything can be used
on this path of awakening.
The bitterness,
the frustration,
the jealousy,
the rage,
the feelings of inadequacy–
all of these point to where
we haven’t yet learned
to be open,
how
we haven’t yet realized
that it’s possible
to be madly in love
with this moment as it is.
Be madly in love with this moment,
just as it is.
Awaken.
Now.

Just As It Is

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Just as it is
this moment is fine–
perfect even.

Just as it is,
this mind
needs nothing more
than to be what it is–
it is also fine.

This body,
fine.

This life,
fine.

And my family,
my friends,
my colleagues,
my marriage–

all fine.

It sure is nice to remember this
every once in a while.
It sure is utterly delightful to recall
that I don’t need to fight reality
if I want to experience change–
I take a moment to understand my perception,
and reality becomes the peace I’ve been seeking.

I come home,
and I realize that I could never really leave home.
Right here, at the center of being,
just as it is,
this moment is fine.

A Breathing Meditation

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I breathe deeply.
The universe shares its soul with me,
pouring itself into me.
I exhale completely.
I share my soul with the universe,
pouring myself completely into it.

Breathing in,
I allow all of life to enter my being,
to meld with it.
Breathing out,
all of life allows me to enter it,
to meld with me.

This moment now,
I create what is needed.
This moment now,
What is needed creates me.

There is no separation,
only oneness,
and I am reminded
that it doesn’t matter where I sit,
as long as I sit.

The candle flame flickers cheerfully
and whispers, “Now.”

Letting It Be Enough

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Day two of teacher training for this month is over.  I arrived home after 9pm; I left the house this morning at 8am.  That’s a long time to be away from home, away from my two babies.  In that time away, I taught a yoga class, had lunch, and spent eight hours learning more about yoga teaching with my fellow trainees.

Both of my kids were already asleep when I arrived; again I felt the waves of wistfulness at not seeing them, holding them, being there to tuck them in at bedtime.

I wonder if I’m learning everything I can in the training.  I wonder if this was the right choice, to sign away a whole weekend every month from now until December so that I can enrich my teaching.  Is this enrichment worth the price I pay in time away from my family?  I know my struggle is not uncommon.  I have read and heard about countless moms who have wanted to maintain a successful career and be a successful parent at the same time.  Where’s the balance point?  When does it become too much work?  Why does family life end up not feeling fulfilling enough to just stay at home, to be present to these people closest too me?  Why do I seek more?  Should I want to feel fulfilled solely in my role as wife and mother?  Is my wanting to have time outside of the house selfish?

Looking for that balance point…up to me to decide where it lies.

Knowing that there are no cut and dry answers to these big questions, I choose in this moment to let it all be enough.  The effort I put in to this day, effort to be mother, wife, teacher, and student; effort to be caring, kind, and considerate; effort to give; effort to be real, to learn–even if some part of my mind tells me I could’ve done better, I choose in this moment to let my efforts be enough for this day.  Some softness, some compassion for this Lorien who tries so hard to be good.  Some acknowledgement that I have done enough, and now I can let myself rest.  Acknowledgement that I am enough, I can let this self rest.

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I tell my students all the time:

There is no goal, no finish line
No plan, no project, no agenda
No right or wrong,
Nothing to change or fix…
Nowhere else to go, 
Nothing else to do, 
but to just be here and breathe, well…

To breathe, to be present in this moment,
you can let it all be enough,
just for this moment.

In that space of allowing self to be,
Now there is the possibility
of flowing joy and contentment.

The struggle is swept away,
The burdens are eased,
and we come back home to this moment.

Let me practice what I preach.
Let me see myself as enough.
Let me breathe and remember
this perfect, unchanging
awareness that expands infinitely,
making more room to hold itself,
inviting presence to come back home,
in this just enough moment.