Tag Archives: thoughts

Gratitude and Joy

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Ahh, settling into this moment,
and it feels wonderful, actually.
I had this realization
that my mind was stealing my joy.
I was giving my attention
to painful thoughts—
and believing them.
But then, I chose to think differently.
I chose to focus on
what is working in my life,
how fortunate I am
to have my health,
my home,
my children,
my work…
And suddenly I realized
how rich I am,
how blessed,
how truly sacred
this moment is.
So now,
in the absence
of those painful thoughts,
all that is left is
gratitude and joy.
Ahhhhh, thank you life.

A Lot of Responsibility

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I was at home,
by myself,
and it struck me…
If I’m feeling bad
and there is no one around,
I’m the one making myself feel bad.
If I’m feeling good
and there is no one around
I’m the one making myself feel good.
My thoughts are determining how I feel,
and this is true,
but only 100% of the time.
If this is true
when I am alone,
then it is true
when I am with others.
I can blame others
for making me feel a certain way,
but in the end,
I choose how I feel inside myself
based on how I respond
to the external circumstances of my life.

Ahh, now.
That sure is a lot of responsibility…
No wonder so few people take it.

Parenthetical Nonsense

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This afternoon I was really wallowing
in self-pity.
(Hey, at least I can see it.)
I was feeling sorry for myself,
lonely, listless, lethargic, worthless,
abandoned, powerless, broken.
And it finally struck me…
If this is my rock bottom,
then I’m doing pretty well.

I mean…
I’m safe, warm and dry in a home
(even if it’s going into foreclosure
and I have no idea how much longer
I’ll be here).
I have plenty of food available,
electricity, running water, a car that works.
I love my work as a yoga teacher
(even if I am not currently being paid enough
to support myself and my two children).
I have so many books chock full of information
right at my fingertips; I can read and learn.
I can write.
I can reach out to a friend
(even if Depression lies to me
and tells me that no one cares).
And I realized that this is all about focus.
Which thoughts am I focusing on and believing?
And can I focus on thoughts that will help?
I can try to shift my mind
(even if I have tried and tried a million times
and I keep ending up back here).
I can put one foot in front of the other.
I can breathe.
(even if I doubt this will ever change).
Clearly, I need to focus on facts
and ignore the parenthetical nonsense
(even if it seems impossible in this moment).

The Truth Is

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For so long the sense of urgency
has haunted me…
Gotta go there,
gotta do this,
gotta be someone,
I’m not good enough…yet—

gotta get better!
Then I can be loved,

then I can be successful,
then I can be happy.
My head spins,
my stomach hurts,
this belief of
Never good enough
always right there,
chasing me, haunting me.
And then I realize
I can stop, breathe,
feel space within me,
and tune into the truth.
No thing is chasing me,
no thing is haunting me.
Although in the past
I believed my erroneous
thoughts and stories were
THE truth—
today I stand in a different truth.
The truth is,
I am a human, being.
The truth is,
I am imperfect.
The truth is,
I don’t have to be good,
I don’t have to be special,
I don’t have to be right,
I don’t have to be safe,
I don’t have to be other than
who I am right now.
Do you know what this means?
Freedom.