Tag Archives: transformation

I’ll Call it Grace

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Something beautiful is happening…
I think it might be resilience?
Stamina?
Endurance?
Wisdom gained from experience?
But as I found myself caught
in my monthly darkness today,
instead of falling all the way down
into the dark hole of depression
and believing my life was never good
and never will be good
I remembered that this was a temporary darkness,
and all I had to do was ride it out.
I prayed. I breathed.
I reassured the little girl in me
who was never allowed to feel sad or angry
that I saw her and loved her.
It didn’t change the mood.
it was still awful and dark and sad,
but some part of me knew this was temporary.
What can I call this?
Empowerment?
Evolution?
Grace?

That has a nice ring to it.
I think I’ll call it grace.

Alone on a Saturday Night

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For a long time
it felt like something was missing.
I had been a Mrs. for so long,
and now he was gone.
There was an empty place in my bed,
a hole in my heart,
an vacant seat at the table,
a void of presence in my life.
But slowly, slowly,
as time went on,
I faced the one inside me
who believed I couldn’t make it on my own.
I worked hard.
Day after day, I recommitted to my healing.
I began to enjoy the company I kept
in the quiet moments of solitude
when I wasn’t working or mothering.
It’s Saturday night and I’m alone.
The highlight of my evening was a long soak in the tub.
I love this moment.
I love that nothing is missing.
I love that I can feel my wholeness now.
I love that I stayed alive for my healing.*

*If you’re reading this with a broken heart, having gone through a loss of a relationship or the loss of a loved one or the loss of something by which you formed your identity, please hang in there. It gets better. There were so many moments during my separation and divorce that the pain was so intense that I really thought I wanted to die. Thankfully I had Twelve Step Meetings, therapy and a few really good friends who helped me stay on this planet. On the other side of that terrible trial, I can look back and see what a gift it was. I am stronger now, and more capable of loving authentically. I have a clearer sense of who I am, and a much better idea of where I want to go and what I need to do to get there. There is hope, friend…hang in there.

Good Progress

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When we’ve committed to a path of transcendence,
moving beyond old, outworn patterns,
and stepping into a more authentic expression
of our greater potential,
we can expect that from time to time
that things will get hard.
Things will go wrong.
Things will get icky and sticky.
It’s Life’s way of asking
Do you really mean it?
On days like this,
instead of trying to be a superhero,
trying to be great,
even trying to be good,
We can just try to put one foot in front of the other.
Sometimes, when we’re stuck in a swamp
of old, useless thoughts or behaviors
one step is really good progress.

Make This So

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When it all can change so quickly,
when it all can be swept away without warning,
what exactly can we count on?
When we know that life is full of challenges,
unpredictable ups and downs,
sudden turns in the road
and no guarantees for our happiness and success,
what can we really look forward to?
I’m starting to understand
how our life philosophy matters,
how if we can expect and embrace challenge
we place ourselves in the driver’s seat…
Our mindset matters.
If we can make up our minds
to view every life event as an opportunity,
a chance to change, grow and evolve,
we will have no shortage of peak moments.
Today is the best day of my life.
Today is the day of my amazing good fortune;
no matter what happens
I choose to make this so.

This New Me

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I like this new me
that has gotten up and gone running
every day for a week.
I like this new me
that smiles and laughs
and senses the promise of a better future.
I like this new me
that doesn’t need a man
to make her feel ok.
I like this new me
that trusts she can make
more than enough money to live well.
I trust this new me
to take the necessary steps
to create a good life for herself and her children.
I’ve been through hell,
and now that I am out the other side,
I can see that the best is yet to come.