Tag Archives: trust

Waiting For A Promise

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Watching.
Waiting.
Wanting.
Cultivating patience
(not an easy task.)
Holding a vision.
Embracing discipline.
Trusting.
Asking.
Believing.
And then…
tending to the tenderness,
and breathing into
the gaping open places,
the void that was left
the last time around.
Openness and readiness
are a call for fulfillment,
but not its promise.
I am waiting for that promise.

Just A Little Bit At A Time

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It doesn’t have to happen all at once,
and,
it simply won’t happen all at once.
Like the transition from winter to spring
this uncovering of the heart
and this healing of the spirit
and this flowing into a new form
and this experience of a new self
takes time.
Let each one of us trust
our own healing process
and surrender into the ways
life loves us, day by day,
as we transform
just a little bit at a time.

In the Midst of Chaos

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Where is the balance point
between the effort and the ease?
Where is the grace
that allows forgiveness to find me?
Where is the sweet one
who will coax my heart out of hiding?
Where is the soul nourishment
that will sustain me?
I keep trying, trying, trying.
I’m exhausted from the effort
of teasing apart the jumbled mess
of other people’s perceptions
and finding my true self
concealed somewhere deep within.
Where am I,
who am I,
in the midst of all of this chaos?

A Dream is Enough

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The quote above is from Deida’s book The Way of the Superior Man

After being told for so long
by the one I had pledged to love
that there was something wrong with me,
that I was good for nothing,
lazy, selfish, irresponsible,
and at the cause of all
our collective misfortunes,
it goes without saying
that it feels quite refreshing to be alone.
Without all of the noise,
the criticism, the discouragement,
the manipulation, the control
and—let’s be plain—the abuse,
I can finally begin
to tease apart the threads of the veil
that had been woven around
my eyes, my mind, my body, my heart.
I can finally begin to discern
what is real and true for me,
who I really am.
As I learn to exist in this new reality
and heal my bruises and tend to my wounds,
I feel myself growing stronger, more sure
of the good that surrounds me,
the good within me.
As I connect with and exist inside this good,
I allow myself to dream about what is possible.
I dream about deep, intimate connection
first with myself,
and then, one day, with another.
I dream about a man
who is aware of his presence,
who sees his depth of awareness
as his most valuable asset.
I dream about myself
standing in my power and grace with this man,
who wants to honor me with his strength,
as I honor him with my devotion.
For now it is a dream.
For now, a dream is enough.

Searching

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I could hear this one song playing
in my head all day long
but I couldn’t remember
the artist or the title
or the album art…
nothing.
I kept reminding myself
to just relax,
I would find it when it was time.
But the music haunted me,
and I kept searching.
I went through so many
playlists, scouring…
And I was struck (again)
by how I deprive myself
of this beautiful present
when I’m searching
for what isn’t there,
what isn’t available,
what isn’t clear,
what isn’t understood.
Finally, I let it go.
I went about my business.
I lived my life.
I read. I ate.
I went to a twelve-step meeting.
I checked in with a friend via telephone.
And then, much later,
I heard the song playing in my mind again.
I searched another playlist,
and within one minute I found it.
And I was struck (again)
at how everything comes to me
in the perfect time and space sequence…
and especially when I just relax
and allow life to unfold.

Can I Trust?

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Feeling a little lost today…
it’s probably because
I was up late last night creating.
It’s amazing how the inspiration strikes
and not necessarily when it’s convenient,
and then afterwards
I see how this willingness
to answer the muse
is a sacrifice of sorts.
I give of my time and energy,
and now I have this art.
I have to give to receive.
Can I trust
that what I’m willing to give is enough?
Can I trust
that the light will pour through me
in exactly the way that it’s meant to?
Can I trust
that there are no mistakes,
only opportunities to learn and grow?

Trust and Freedom

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It’s going to be okay.
I feel that now.
Last year I worked on cultivating trust,
and this year, I chose freedom.
As I trust, I relax into being,
and this moment opens up
and shows me what I need to know….
in freedom.
Or more precisely,
I open up
and I can finally see
what this moment
was trying to show me all along.
Yes. I open up,
and then I can receive
the gifts that were always there,
awaiting my opening.
I open up
and the whole universe is delighted
to shower me with the love and the abundance
that now gets to be expressed through me,
through my willingness to trust and to be free.