Don’t wait until the end of the day
to say the good things in your heart.
By the end of the day
your tired body and mind will speak louder,
and what comes out then
will not be nearly as helpful
as the sweet nectar flowing from
your gloriously loving heart.
It’s a simple way,
a simple truth,
a simple life—
to simply open your heart
to all that is.
The trouble is,
you don’t need a product
or an expert to show you how to use it,
and so this way isn’t advertised,
and so most of us don’t know about it.
But I promise you,
I will spend my whole life
living this open-hearted way as much as I can.
And maybe my open heart
could help other hearts to open
along this path I walk.
To know that I coaxed just one heart open
by living my simple life…
now that’s success!
The jig is up.
I’m on to you.
I know how you work now.
I know that you’ve been conditioned
to believe negative thoughts,
and you are going to keep regurgitating
until I choose to train you otherwise.
Well, my dear brain,
I’m choosing to train you otherwise.
I won’t believe all those horrid things he said.
I won’t believe that I was worthless.
I won’t believe that it was all my fault.
I won’t believe that I was just a taker—
I know I wasn’t.
Brain, it’s time for the TRUTH.
I did everything I could.
I was ENTITLED to my own thoughts and feelings.
It just didn’t work out between us,
and this wasn’t my fault.
I tried to get us to marital therapy.
I tired to share my experiences, my hopes and fears.
I thought if I worked hard enough on me,
things would get better.
It’s not my fault.
Brain, I can’t stay married
to someone who just doesn’t love me, okay?
I can’t stay married to someone
who isn’t willing to be responsible for their part.
I can’t stay married to someone who blames me
for everything that goes wrong in their life.
Brain, I deserve more, do you hear me?
I deserve so much more.
I deserve someone who loves me
not in spite of my shortcomings
but because of them.
I deserve someone who lights up
when I walk into the room.
I deserve to be made love to
so tenderly and sweetly,
with care and reverence.
I deserve to be celebrated for my gifts,
and supported and encouraged in their expression.
After all this time, brain, the jig is up.
You don’t get to tell me how this goes anymore.
I don’t want my present to be a recycled version
of my painful past.
I get to choose. And I choose love.
And health. And happiness. And celebration.
Thanks for listening.
There’s a moment after hitting rock bottom
when you realize that you’re not dead.
Maybe, as you look around at where you are,
you wish you were dead,
but you’re still alive nonetheless.
Resistance will make you hurt worse.
Regret will keep you stuck in this place.
When you’ve stripped away everything
that you used as your former identity
and you find yourself, naked,
standing on rock,
it feels vulnerable, uncomfortable.
You look up…
and the light of day seems so far away.
The good news is,
you don’t have many decisions to make;
it’s very simple in this naked place
of bare, cold, hard, rock bottom.
There’s only one direction you can go—
This is the third time
I’ve attempted to write this poem.
It just isn’t coming out
as I expected.
I guess this means I’m human,
and I guess it means I’m alive.
when I can ever be satisfied
with myself as I am,
life as it is;
when I can drop
the bs perfectionism bit,
and just relax already.
And when you can finally
relax into the truth
of who you really are
you will find
the most gentle sweetness
waiting for you everywhere—
Life, loving you as you really are.
I spent the day in deep listening,
laid heart and soul bare
before daring wayfarers
who walk this path with me.
I danced with the trees,
looked up to the sun
reached out to the water
felt down to the earth
breathed in the wind
and out my fears.
I transformed from closed and scared
to fluid and light body
loving song through the forest
at top of lungs fearlessly.
To whomever says heaven
isn’t on earth:
I have something to share…
Today I came close.