Tag Archives: understanding

See What Happens

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When you decide to live in the mystery,
nothing is predictable.
One day goes smoothly,
the next full of obstacles.
When you decide to leave the safety of routine
and give your life over to some greater purpose,
only surrender and trust will do.
It is a death of sorts…
familiarity makes way for chaos,
and this is a good thing.
The moment your whole life falls apart,
this is the beginning of your journey
to realizing your fullest destiny.
Take heart;
there are others who have gone before you,
you are not alone.
Take a deep breath,
walk to the edge and jump.
You will grow wings and fly,
you will be caught by some gigantic gentle hands,
or you might be smashed to bits on the rocks below.
Whatever happens, new life awaits…
so don’t wait.
Dive, dive into the mystery,
and see what happens.

Perfect Revelation

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For so long
I have seen my sadness as the enemy,
a sign that something
wasn’t working in my life.
And now, with this new perspective,
I’m being told that my sadness is a friend,
a sign that Life
is working through me
to transform me,
to peel away the excess
and reveal the essence of who I am.
I guess all of my prayers
and my hours of meditation
were really me trying to be good enough
to gain some leverage
and negotiate with God.
What if there were no escape?
What if this was all meant to be,
and what if all the answers
to all my questions
were locked up inside me,
waiting for me to accept
the initiation that will open
my consciousness to their
perfect revelation?

Just To Be Alive

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It’s so curious,
figuring this human thing out.
I mean, when you really look at us,
aren’t we just crazy?
Isn’t our behavior just plain absurd?
We can spend our whole lives
looking for love
when the love is inside of us
all along, forever.
We can attempt to control the outer world,
when in reality
we have no control over anything,
not even ourselves.
We can keep searching until the day we die
for fulfillment, freedom, satisfaction,
looking to everyone to give us what we want,
when all along,
we were the ones we’ve been searching for.
I’m feeling ready for a great teacher to come along
and speak the good word to all of us.
I want us to wake up,
settle down,
breathe,
and realize
how wonderful it is, just to be alive.

Struggle…Opportunity

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It’s a struggle,*
but only because
it’s always been a struggle.
If I can change my mind,
if I can see a different way,
this might become
an opportunity.
This is an opportunity
to slow down,
listen
to the rhythms of my body-mind,
honor the self
that tries so hard to be good.
Can I love her
when she wants to scream?
Can I love her
when she is tired?
Can I appreciate
everything she has been through?
Instead of doing
what I’ve always done,
can I try something new?
If nothing else,
this struggle
has given me an opportunity
to come home to myself
if only for this moment.
I want to find the Self
in all the swirls of emotion,
in the body aches and fatigue,
in the loneliness—
and I want to love her fiercely.

 

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*Ladies out there, give me an AMEN if you too find yourself accosted with darkness and mood swings in conjunction with your moon cycle. It has been this way my whole adult life. What helps you manage to make it through those days of darkness until the sun breaks through the clouds again?

And guys out there…when your ladies get this way, have you found a way to help them make it through, or do you run in the opposite direction? I mean…it is INTENSE, after all, and hard to understand the sudden changes in temperament. My recommendation:  buy her some flowers, run her a bath, make her some tea, and tell her you’re there for her and that you love her no matter what.

Who Needs ‘Em?

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Haven’t I given enough?
Can’t you love me now?
Can’t you accept me now?
Can’t you see how hard I try?
You owe me.
What? You don’t want
the kind of love I want?
What?
You want freedom?
You want lightness
and fun
and excitement?
You want what you want?
Wait. You’re leaving?
You think this is all my fault?
Wait!
We can work this out.
I can admit to my faults.
Can you admit to yours?
Wait, what?
This is all my fault, really?
Yep.
Relationships are so complicated.
Who needs ’em?

NaPoWriMo 2018, Day 10: Deeper At Play

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Today’s prompt is about simultaneity.  I can handle that! I can handle this moment,
even if I do need a nap.

When I’m tired, hungry,
wanting to be held, heard and seen,
and my kids are tired, hungry,
pushing for TV time
and I Just want to be a good mom
and redirect them,
When it’s spring but it still feels like winter…
when I’ve committed to myself
to not be sad about him anymore
and when the sadness comes anyway
and threatens to engulf me,
when I’m tired writing this poem
but too stubborn to miss a day,
That’s how I know
there is something deeper at play here.

Just Ask

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I have this question bouncing around in my mind.
It has something to do with responsibility,
evolution, speciation, becoming, belonging.
It isn’t fully formed.
It’s just the feeling of a question.
And…
I’m not looking for an answer.
I just want to ask the question.
I want to know what it is,
find the words,
and just ask.