Tag Archives: wanting

To Patience

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Ah, Patience.
Why do you elude me?
Why do I want you?
Why do I need you?
And why, when I need you the most,
do you desert me?
I think I may need to learn more about you.
I wish you could visit and stay awhile,
but you’re such a flirt—
you’re here one moment, gone the next.
If you can tell me who knows you best,
THAT one I’d like to meet.
Oh, Patience!
If I could master you,
that would be quite the feat!

This Rawness

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Digging deeper…
Wanting more out of life
out of myself
out of each day.
Wanting understanding,
connection, revelation,
salvation.
Wanting the sun to shine
and the rain to fall
and the stars to shine
and the moon to rise
whenever they damn well please.
And as I allow the weather to be itself
and as I allow the heavenly bodies
to be themselves,
Can I allow me to be myself?
I am a part of this earth.
Could I learn how to love this self
that is me
by loving the planet that is her…more?
I feel crazy lonely with my questions.
I still miss my husband.
I still miss his body, breathing
next to mine.
This rawness.
Is this what it means to be human?

Choose the Reflection of the Purest Self

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Searching.
For what?
What is it that I think I want in order to be happy?
And can I look at that wanting,
and watch how it melts into more wanting?
Can I watch the anger,
and witness it fueling more anger?
Peace flowing into more peace?
Love blossoming into more love?
Joy dawning upon fathomless joy?

Whatever we give our attention to
fully and without pause,
this is what we become.

Let us awaken to our patterns,
let us choose where we send our thoughts.
The world waits for us to know it.
The universe is hushed, ready for us to see it.
Our shining self glows brightly,
let us open our eyes.
Let us see the mirrors all around us,
and choose the reflection of our purest self.

The Power of Attachment

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I set myself up for it.
I thought for sure it would be mine.
I projected into the future
and created many moments of enjoyment
imagining what I would say and do
and how it would all feel…
and then,
and then
I was told it was given to someone else.
Misery.
Disappointment.
Wanting to know why I wasn’t the chosen one.
And herein lies the power of attachment
to bring one to one’s knees in pain
with weapons that do not exist,
mourning the loss of something that never was.

The Wanting

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It comes
sometimes slowly–
creeping up,
sometimes quickly–
like an explosion,
but it doesn’t matter how it gets here,
it always comes–
the wanting.

Wanting to be richer
wanting to be older
wanting to be younger
wanting to be more beautiful
wanting to be thinner
wanting to be fatter
taller
shorter
lighter
darker
this wanting fills us until we know nothing else…

wanting to be more accepted
wanting that new pair of shoes
that big ass TV
that super fast car
a new bottle of perfume
a bigger house
a summer home
a place to call home
to have a family
to escape from family
a vacation in the tropics, when winter’s chill has settled in the bones
the chill of autumn in the height of burning summer
and always there is still more wanting…

wanting recognition
wanting love
wanting peace
wanting understanding
wanting compassion
wanting closure
revenge
solace
amnesty
forbearance
and the wanting continues…

there is no end to the wanting.
knowing this, let us recognize that feeling,
that all encompassing feeling of wanting,
the urge to accumulate more belongings
to accumulate people
or attention
or sunshiny weather–

and let us remember,
with every fiber of our being,
let us remember,

that when we shed our bodies
there is no more wanting,
only union, merging with the
great unbounded consciousness of ALL THAT IS.

What if we could merge with this consciousness now?
What if, in this alive body, we could know
awareness beyond wanting?

Sitting in stillness and breathing,
let yourself awaken to who you are,
the self in you that exists beyond body and mind:
the peace, the joy, the lightness, the contentment–
your truest self, your luminous, beautiful, invisible
essence self.

No more wanting now…
just being in this blissful self that you are,
floating in the infinite ocean of consciousness.

All We Could Ever Want

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Let them rise and let them fall
like the waves of the ocean–
they will come to you your whole life,
it is in our nature.

To be human is to have wants.
To be human is to experience limits,
and if you are persistent,
you might develop the drive to rise above them.

The question isn’t whether we should want or not want–
it’s more about bringing awareness to what we want,
and discerning between a passing fancy and a dream dear to your heart.

It is more about meeting our deepest dreams with awareness,
and mindfully directing our energies to bring ourselves
to the place of fulfillment,
Not with the fancy cars or the big mansions or the dream vacations
(Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with those),

But fulfillment in a place that can’t be seen-
in the character that has been tempered within the fire of great challenge,
by the spirit that has been strengthened by overcoming adversity,
by grace that rushes in to let you know how absolutely loved you are,
by the realization that all we could ever want is right here, in this moment.