A gathering of beautiful friends brings me back to a natural rhythm, closer to my true nature, more authentic. Food prepared consciously nourishes our bodies and souls. Sitting with beloveds and sharing a meal attunes us collectively to our shared visions. Moving into a mode of celebration opens our eyes to the abundance that is here now, opens our hearts to the recognition that it is a gift to be alive. I choose to move towards those who are willing to recognize the good in their lives. Those who give thanks are way more fun to be around than those who can’t see any reason to be grateful! I’m glad to be one of the happy ones who chooses to see the good in life. I am blessed to openly celebrate how wonderful it is to be alive.
For the longest time I thought I was incomplete. It felt like there were so many missing pieces. I searched outside of myself for the answers. I recruited men to help me feel complete. I was married for nine years, and one day he said it was over. In my devastation, I found IFS* and parts work. I read the book You Are the One You’ve been Waiting For. I worked really hard, attending Twelve Step Meetings, therapy, EFT tapping, prayer and meditation, reading, writing. Two and a half years later, still celibate, I can finally feel the truth: I am the one I’ve been waiting for. I really can take care of myself emotionally! Every day I am practicing self-love, self-acceptance, self-compassion. If we could all recognize that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for, life would be so much more…peaceful, fun, light, free… May we all discover the gifts within us. May we all come to cherish the beautiful beings that we are. May we come to discover that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
Ok, so, I’m moving… And, well, I have a house full of stuff… And, I’ve barely done any packing… And…it’s all ok. I woke up asking What would Life feel like if I didn’t have to be in control? I also asked What would I feel like if I knew my own worth? In the contemplative tradition, these questions stayed deeply with me throughout the day. While I was driving, or tidying, or teaching a yoga class, or fixing dinner, or bringing another car load of stuff to my new home… I kept asking these questions, and as I asked, I simply felt peace. It’s as if something has unlocked inside me, and it’s something that has been waiting for a long time. Could it be my true nature, yearning to express itself, always being pushed into the shadows by the illusions of control and inadequacy? Now, as I contemplate the shadows, it’s as if my eyes can see through the veil to what has been waiting all along: my Self, peaceful, whole and complete.
I love how it doesn’t matter how much I’ve attempted to stay present but failed miserably… I love that no matter how many times my mind hijacked my consciousness with thoughts of the past or thoughts of the future, the present always holds me. I always am here. I always am now. My work is to know this deeply, integrating awareness of the present moment through bodily sensations, through breath, through the intention to be of service. I see the perfection of my journey, how all experiences led me to this moment. All I can feel now… …is gratitude.
As it is, this moment is complete. There are no missing pieces. Are you are, you are complete, There are no missing pieces. As it is, the universe is complete. There are no missing pieces. As we are, our connection is complete. There are no missing pieces.
If healing were easy everyone would be doing it but there is no switch, no magic wand no quick fix. And it doesn’t work to focus on the surface, shining up the exterior while the interior is full of darkness; the light must shine everywhere. Of course, it doesn’t work to replace one extreme with another either. It’s not about eradicating the darkness so that there is only light; we learn through contrast, and the darkness has its place in this great wheel of life. Balance is the key, and acceptance that everything changes. If we could drop the unreasonable expectations and open our hearts to what is alive in this moment, we might discover that the antidote to our pain lives within the pain itself. Our adversity is our greatest teacher.
This day is a huge gift!
How many people who were alive yesterday
didn’t wake up today?
And yet here you are, reading these words—
isn’t it amazing you can look at these symbols
and your precious brain makes meaning of them
in a way that your heart can be touched
or your body may want to move?
At any moment you might breathe deeply
and settle into stillness,
or you may jump up
and run like crazy.
Isn’t it amazing?
Trying to make sense of the chaos
I realize I haven’t breathed deeply
in a while so I
and I take a deep breath in…I
and let it out slowly.
Suddenly, there is no chaos.
Suddenly, it’s only this moment,
all it ever was,
all it ever will be.
Nothing to be added to it
nothing to be taken from it–
whole and complete just as it is.
I keep looking for someone to see me,
to be excited about being with me,
a friend who mirrors my dreams
and celebrates them
who looks into my heart
and shares a sweet connectedness.
I think I find a friend
and I get excited.
I reach out, send texts expressing my thanks,
celebrating the synchronicity
that brought us here.
I wait, full of anticipation
looking forward to the experience
of full reciprocation.
And then, static on the other end of the line.
That vulnerable feeling
of thinking I divulged too much,
reached out too much,
suffocated a budding friendship
with my over-zealous enthusiasm.
Was I too much?
Was the connection I experienced
all a dream?
These dreams were mine.
And so were the lies I told myself
about needing someone else
to show me to myself.
Back at square one,
I realize I’ll never be done
looking for a friend
if I can’t first be one to myself.
A lot of what we’re chasing after,
a lot of what haunts us,
is this desire to feel complete.
And we think something outside of us
will help us to reach that state of wholeness.
And so we scramble…
a trip to the mall
or to Amazon.com,
an hour (or three) on social media,
We think these things we get
will help us to get a life,
but there is always something else
we are lacking.
One acquisition leads to another…
There will never be enough
to fill that empty whole
inside of us.
until we become very still
and sense that we are complete,
always have been
and always will be.
How could we be otherwise?
Here we are,
being breathed by life,
each breath we are fulfilled.
Any thought that we are lacking something
is a story that was sold to us.
Stop buying it.