Choosing to change
and choosing to like change…
will help smooth the path
of life’s inevitable changes.
And life demands that we change.
There is no way around it.
Every day draws us closer to the inevitable edge
of the great abyss that stares back,
revealing the nothingness of our dissolution.
Who will we become
before death closes our eyes forever?
When life asks you to change
by pulling the rug out from under you,
when your relationship falls apart,
when your health suddenly fails,
when a source of abundance suddenly dries up,
when nothing makes sense anymore,
to cling to the past is sheer insanity.
At that point, the most lucid response would be
to take a deep breath and feel into the moment,
to see what the moment is asking of you.
The answers are here, now,
in your beating heart,
in leaves stirred by an invisible wind,
in the changing of the seasons,
in the rhythm of your days and nights.
Release the past that is no longer relevant
to the person you are becoming.
Face your future with open arms,
and see what the moment is asking of you.
Opening into spacious awareness,
relaxing open into the moment
as it presents itself,
this is my practice.
I’ve been working on identifying the feeling,
and breathing into the center of it…
then breathing out a willingness to feel.
Not change, fix, analyze, interpret, judge or understand,
but just feel.
I felt called to bring this practice to my students
and have had the privilege to teach
four times already this week.
I am so grateful for this work where
I find something that helps and heals,
and then I get to share it with others.
Back from a healing ceremony
where many tears were shed
and songs were sung
and layers upon layers
of old outworn behaviors
and patterns of thinking
were peeled up and released.
I pray that I can stay clear and open.
I recognized in the middle of ceremony
that there is nothing to escape from…
that this desire to get away
is an old survival mechanism
that no longer helps me.
I sat up tall and still
in the middle of extreme discomfort
And I heard Spirit whispering to me
Stop fighting. Just surrender.
Let grace move through you.
Let go. Release. Trust.
It was a long night.
Neural circuitry was being rewired.
Birth can be so painful.
I just wanted to be free
from the grip of my fear
and the stranglehold of my past.
I kept breathing throught this desire for freedom,
kept breathing through my fear,
my doubt, my judgment.
I came to see that no matter what arises
in my experience
it is always here to serve my awakening.
If I can just remember that one thing,
I could maybe, just maybe,
learn to trust in this moment.
As I let go of the excess
the essence is revealed
and so are the steps
to fulfill my deeper purpose.
In this way,
healing has become
a process of letting go
so I can see what is,
and a willingness to breathe
so that I can be led from there.
Whatever it takes to awaken,
this is what I will do,
and this I swear to you:
I will do what needs to be done,
hear what needs to be heard,
speak what needs to be spoken,
write what needs to be written,
build what needs to be built,
heal what needs to be healed,
love what needs to be loved,
forgive what needs to be forgiven,
release what needs to be released,
receive what needs to be received,
create what needs to be created.
I give thanks for the teachers, mentors,
wise ones and guides
who always show me the way
as I am ready to receive their guidance.
I am grateful for my fellow travelers,
forever reminding me that
I do not walk this path alone.
It doesn’t take long
when you’re willing.
If you can just sit,
and feel, and breathe,
if you can just be present,
if you can listen,
if you can be open,
The whole Universe
will offer itself completely to you
like the lover
who has been waiting
for you to wake up
out of a coma,
and who is just
so damn excited
to see you alive again…
it’s all ecstasy
from here on out.