Tag Archives: witness

Deep Conversation

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At what point does one feel ready
to reinvent oneself?
At what point do we become willing
to release the pain imprinted in our DNA
and write a new story for ourselves?
If we identify with our pain
we won’t be willing to let it go,
because its leaving would signify our dying.
But we need to die
to be reborn to eternal life.
If the self isn’t pain,
what is the self?
If the pain died away,
if it dissolved into the nothingness
from which all thoughts come,
who would be there
to witness what remains?
Let me find that witness.
I’m tired of all this surface stuff.
I’m ready for a deep conversation.

Not Knowing

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As I sat in the theater
I would remind myself periodically
I am Lorien
and I am watching a movie.
I was practicing retaining some awareness of myself
as the drama unfolded before my eyes
as opposed to becoming so absorbed in it
that I forgot myself.
In this world of many distractions
it’s easy to forget who I am,
what this life is.
As I kept reminding myself
I am Lorien
I started to wonder how true that was.
Isn’t my name just another label,
and don’t labels obscure the witness self
who simply is there?
Could I say I am being itself?
I am life?
I am consciousness?
Or more simply,
I am?
In the end,
the reminders felt a little silly.
They were just indicators
of a feeling, a sense of isness,
of awareness.
When this kind of awareness is felt,
it doesn’t need to become
caught up in a sticky net of words.
This isness is always free, limitless,
and escapes all attempts at definition.
Perhaps my practice
is letting go of the need for understanding
and just sitting in the sweet place
of not knowing.