Tag Archives: writing

Relaxes and Sighs

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My posts have been spotty of late,
and my critical mind wants to lament
and wail about my lack of discipline.
Then the practical adult in me recounts
what I’ve been doing with my days and nights
and counters the critic with
Now just where do you think we’d find the time
to write when we’re not even getting enough time to sleep?

The critic then makes it a bad thing
to change my routine, to have a different schedule.
It’s addicted to feelings of shame, anxiety, and unworthiness.
It’s saying I need to go back to the way things were.
But things aren’t the way they were.
Not even a little.
Things have changed.
I am glad about that.
I am a part of all things,
even though my ego would tell me I am separate.
I have changed too.
I am glad about that.
I don’t need to feel guilty for changing,
for adopting a different routine,
for using my time in different ways.
Therefore, I am glad to write when I can,
and not a minute before.
(Takes a deep breath and lies down on the floor,
looks out the window at a puffy, white cloud floating
in the blue sky, relaxes and sighs.)

I’m Writing Now

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I don’t know if it’s a sign of exhaustion
or apathy,
or straight up resistance,
but lately I haven’t been as consistent
with my writing
as I was in the past…
My inner perfectionist is horrified.
My inner critic is sneering.
My inner child is sad.
Oh well. I’m writing now.
I’m writing now.
And this moment is good enough.

Why We Practice

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Feeling a little lost, out of sorts these days.
I couldn’t be bothered to write
the last few nights…
what has happened to me?
I return a bit sheepishly,
feeling guilty for dropping my routine;
it’s been the one thing that has held me up
through the transition into single motherhood.
I remember the wisdom of my teachers.
Begin where you are.
Only this moment matters.
You’re doing fine.
You are enough, just as you are, right now.

My mind loves to point out
that although I can articulate my teachers’ wisdom,
I’m not necessarily so great at embodying it.
Oh well. That’s why we practice.
We remember that we can keep trying,
again and again and again.

The Thought That Counts

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This is for last night
when I sidled home
after having shared some bourbon
and a bottle of pinot noir with my neighbors
and I discovered
neither my brain activity
nor my motivation
were substantial enough
to compose poetry.
Just know I THOUGHT
about writing…
and isn’t it the thought that counts?

Gratitude: Day 22 of 48

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I’m a writer, have been since elementary school.
I’m grateful I can wield my pen and my words and my voice
intentionally,
and share what’s going on with me
in a way that engages others to share their stories with me.
I’m grateful I was taught to read and write.
I’m grateful I can create worlds in my mind
and assign words to the worlds
in a way that will paint vivid pictures in your mind.
Words are power,
like wind is power,
and fire is power,
and water is power,
and love is power.
May the fact of my sharing
help one person know that they aren’t alone.
May these words written from my heart
reach out into the world
and make it a more loving place!

Relax Already

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This is the third time
I’ve attempted to write this poem.
It just isn’t coming out
as I expected.
I guess this means I’m human,
and I guess it means I’m alive.
Just wondering
when I can ever be satisfied
with myself as I am,
life as it is;
just wondering
when I can drop
the bs perfectionism bit,
and just relax already.

Books

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Still searching for the book
that has the answers…
I search in
ooks on self-love,
books on forgiveness,
books on leadership,
business,
emotional intelligence,
magic.
I read and I read and I read.
I keep searching
for that one piece of information
that will save me.
Then it occurs to me,
Maybe the book I need to read
is the one I need to write.

Here I Come!

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Forward progress made,
now I just need to keep the momentum,
stay clear, focused, intentional in my choices.
I stood up for myself and my kids today,
and we reached a resolution that’s workable.
I breathed, meditated and prayed today.
I wrote in my journal, drew a mandala,
performed japa with my mala,
chanting the mantram SAT NAM…
I diffused lavender and frankincense essential oils,
created a mini altar
with an LED candle,
a rose quartz heart,
and pictures of my kids; 
I listened to music, danced, did yoga…
That mediation room
probably never saw so much action!
Now to keep taking action
on behalf of myself and my kids,
moving forward, remembering what matters.
As I say goodbye to my marriage
a whole new life awaits.
World, here I come!

Questioning…and Asking For Your Input

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hal elrod value quote

Hi everyone.  I arrived back in Maryland on July 31 after a wonderful trip to Colorado where I was taken care of in every way by a dear friend who knows what I’ve been through this past year.  I felt really good and positive for about a week, but then real life came crashing down on me, and I’ve been dealing with the depression and anxiety again.

As I’ve been paying closer attention to my daily routine—of which this blog has been a part for the last five and a half years—I’ve been asking myself what kind of value my posts here are to others.  If I’m writing my daily poetry and focusing on what is wrong, I believe that I’m contributing to an atmosphere of sadness and anger on planet earth.  This is not what I want for me, you, or for this blog.

So I’ve been really wondering what kind of value I can add to anyone’s life here on Yoga Mom.  Can I focus more on yoga?  Can I share breath work techniques, yoga poses?  Can I talk about mindful parenting?

I’m not sure what shape I want the blog to take at this point, but I’m absolutely open to any ideas that you’d like to send my way.  I started off the blog for myself, as a means to find the self-expression that had felt so hampered in the midst of raising young children and being in what I’ve come to realize was a highly abusive marriage.  I never expected to have people actually following my posts and reading my words, but now with over a thousand followers I feel it is my social obligation to focus on what is good and real and true in life, instead of on what is bringing me down.

If you have any thoughts or ideas about how I can do that here, I’m all ears.

Thanks for reading,

Yoga Mom

Art Salvation

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Allowing my creativity to flow
without making a big deal about it…
No pressure, not trying to impress anyone,
just trying to save my own life
through color, texture, and the freedom
to bring my inner world outside
where it can dance, breathe,
and be painted into being.
I never knew that such simplicity
could yield salvation,
but here I sit feeling grateful
to have another day
to pick up my pen, my brush,
and remember the voice
that quietly speaks within me.