I’ve been practicing this Wim Hof breathing video every day for almost a week… It’s eaten into my music time on my cushion, but now I’m breathing more consciously— and maybe when my breath is strong enough, I will breathe consciously as I play my music. I have been preparing for this moment for so long: Where I feel totally free and at ease, allowing myself to create authentically from my deepest center, letting the love of life, of presence flow from me, radiating harmony into the world.
I went to pray in the green cathedral of the forest today. I breathed, and my heart was open. I sat, surrounded by the symphony of life, birdsong, wind, rock, moss, ferns, earth, water, trees… I felt so blessed to soak in this beauty, this perfection of life, of being. I asked for the truth to be revealed to me. This is what I heard:
You are the one and only instrument of creation. You are consciousness, and I love you. I love all the ways you express yourself, the myriad forms you assume to create the tapestry of existence! I celebrate you today, exactly as you are, pure consciousness, light of being.
I taught a Zoom yoga class tonight. It’s so strange not to be with my students, you know, in the same room, like I’m used to. At the same time, here I was in Maryland, and there were friends in Texas who joined, one in New Jersey, and one from somewhere I clearly wasn’t, because it was night where I was, and she had light streaming through her window. So although I can’t be physically present to my students, somehow, I can be with friends all over the world. And that, my friends, is the power of the internet. So although this strange time comes with many challenges, there are some unexpected silver linings, like teaching yoga to someone a thousand miles away, somehow…
Hey friends. I’m late to the game, catching up on the last few days. I liked the prompt for day 8 over at the NaPoWriMo site, which included links to multiple Twitter accounts that focus on the work of individual poets and which send lines of their poetry (Poetry Bots!) into the universe. ❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️
Poem Beginning With a Line By Sylvia Plath
I am not ready for anything to happen. I am not ready for anything not to happen. I am, quite simply, not ready. Not ready for life or for death. Not ready for sickness or for health. Not ready for a Pandemic. Not ready to go back to “normal.” I am not ready, but I can still breathe. Yes. I’ll breathe in now. Yes. I’ll breathe out now. I guess I’m ready for something. I’m ready to breathe.
The reasonable voice says Don’t panic. But the panicky part in me panics like never before. So many questions. So much uncertainty. I hear the liquor stores are doing great right now. It makes sense. When faced with so much uncertainty, and you have to stay home, and you’re around your famly for longer stretches of time than usual and you don’t know how to do this… A nice, cold one sounds like a great idea. I’d like to tell everyone to wake up, because that’s my job as a yoga teacher. But I’m unemployed right now, sitting home, alone because my kids are with their dad. I look in my fridge. Virtually empty. Do I risk going to the store? A nice, cold one would be really great right now…
I want to get creative. I want to paint draw write dance sing knit sew cook do yoga. I look around my house. It’s cluttered, disorganized. I can’t create with my house like this, I tell myself. So I pick up. Dust. Vacuum. Put away. Organize. I look around my house again. It’s beautiful. Neat. Luminous. But now I’m so damn tired I no longer have the energy to create! Maybe I need to learn how to create regardless of the neatness of my space.
Full days of mothering, teaching yoga, fitting in morning meditation and evening gratitude, eating healthy, thinking good thoughts and I realize I’d be bored if I had nothing to do. I’d be depressed if I had nothing to do. So all of this to say… I’m tired but happy.
It’s amazing what can happen when you get over yourself and try something new. I made myself get out tonight, even though a part of me just wanted to stay home and feel lonely and depressed. I made myself get out tonight to attend the yoga studio holiday party. I took the staff yoga class, and ate some yummy vegan food; I even won a gift card in a raffle! I sat and ate, and multiple people actually sat down next to me and talked to me! It felt good to connect. It felt good to be out, to be in the presence of kind souls making merry. Yes, it’s amazing what can happen when you get over yourself and try something new.
If I can just get quiet and still and go within and listen I can hear the heartbeat of the Universe. I can feel the deep peace that is my true nature. I can sense the oneness of being that is the truth of existence. Yeah, I should probably just get quiet and still and go within and listen more often.