I’ve been practicing this Wim Hof breathing video
every day for almost a week…
It’s eaten into my music time on my cushion,
but now I’m breathing more consciously—
and maybe when my breath is strong enough,
I will breathe consciously as I play my music.
I have been preparing for this moment for so long:
Where I feel totally free and at ease,
allowing myself to create authentically
from my deepest center,
letting the love of life, of presence
flow from me, radiating harmony into the world.
I went to pray
in the green cathedral
of the forest today.
and my heart was open.
I sat, surrounded
by the symphony of life,
rock, moss, ferns, earth,
I felt so blessed
to soak in this beauty,
this perfection of life,
I asked for the truth
to be revealed to me.
This is what I heard:
You are the one and only instrument of creation.
You are consciousness, and I love you.
I love all the ways you express yourself,
the myriad forms you assume to create
the tapestry of existence!
I celebrate you today,
exactly as you are,
light of being.
I taught a Zoom yoga class tonight.
It’s so strange not to be with my students,
you know, in the same room, like I’m used to.
At the same time, here I was in Maryland,
and there were friends in Texas who joined,
one in New Jersey, and one from somewhere
I clearly wasn’t, because it was night where I was,
and she had light streaming through her window.
So although I can’t be physically present to my students,
somehow, I can be with friends all over the world.
And that, my friends, is the power of the internet.
So although this strange time comes with many challenges,
there are some unexpected silver linings,
like teaching yoga to someone a thousand miles away,
Hey friends. I’m late to the game, catching up on the last few days. I liked the prompt for day 8 over at the NaPoWriMo site, which included links to multiple Twitter accounts that focus on the work of individual poets and which send lines of their poetry (Poetry Bots!) into the universe.
Poem Beginning With a Line By Sylvia Plath
I am not ready for anything to happen.
I am not ready for anything not to happen.
I am, quite simply, not ready.
Not ready for life or for death.
Not ready for sickness or for health.
Not ready for a Pandemic.
Not ready to go back to “normal.”
I am not ready, but I can still breathe.
Yes. I’ll breathe in now.
Yes. I’ll breathe out now.
I guess I’m ready for something.
I’m ready to breathe.
The reasonable voice says
But the panicky part in me
panics like never before.
So many questions.
So much uncertainty.
I hear the liquor stores are doing great right now.
It makes sense.
When faced with so much uncertainty,
and you have to stay home,
and you’re around your famly
for longer stretches of time than usual
and you don’t know how to do this…
A nice, cold one sounds like a great idea.
I’d like to tell everyone to wake up,
because that’s my job as a yoga teacher.
But I’m unemployed right now, sitting home,
alone because my kids are with their dad.
I look in my fridge. Virtually empty.
Do I risk going to the store?
A nice, cold one would be really great right now…
I want to get creative.
I want to paint
I look around my house.
It’s cluttered, disorganized.
I can’t create with my house like this,
I tell myself.
So I pick up.
I look around my house again.
It’s beautiful. Neat. Luminous.
But now I’m so damn tired
I no longer have the energy to create!
Maybe I need to learn how to create
regardless of the neatness of my space.
Full days of mothering,
fitting in morning meditation
and evening gratitude,
thinking good thoughts
and I realize
I’d be bored if I had nothing to do.
I’d be depressed if I had nothing to do.
So all of this to say…
I’m tired but happy.